Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Teacher has Left the Building

This has been going on for the past week and we still have a week of school to go! I certainly understand the antsy pants of children at the end of the school year. But can some of you teachers out there help me understand WHY they have handed out yearbooks AND had the kids clean out their desks? Those are classic last TWO days of school activities. We are one of those schools that doesn't get out until June 4th oh wait, it got moved back one day June 3rd because of how late we started in the Fall. Is it too much to ask to have the kids do some semblance of school for the last month? My 3rd grader has had 2 field trips (one to NCAR (pronounced "N" "Car") and the other he himself can not recall so I can post it here...point made). Maybe it was the Molly Brown house where upon returning home he said, "Wow, it was a really BIG house." That was about it on what he got out of the Molly Brown house. According to my genius son, NCAR is a place where they have weather stuff. Brilliant Einstein. The best thing about field trips is the can of soda I put in their lunches oh and the fact that they do NOTHING all day.

Let me recount a list of the learning that has taken place so far this month:
1. Bring a stuffed animal to "read in" day. (sounds to me like laying around flipping through comic books so teacher can surf the internet day)
2. Field Day (better known as, send the kids outside so that damn Gym teacher can babysit them for a few hours day)
3. Movie afternoon (TWICE) one was Night at the Museum and the other one was "something about this one Indian person that went in a war or something." I am writing a letter when I am done to let the principal know my son is not ready for 4th grade.
4. Tomorrow is celebrate summer birthday day (AKA fill them up on SUGAR and let them run around day)
5. The next day is kite day (OR, get a head start on your tan day for teachers and parent volunteers alike)

My daughter is going to the zoo tomorrow and then the next day is bring your teddy bear to school day. Maybe I'll celebrate with Red Bull day and read blogs all day- day. Wait, that would be no different than any other day...hmmm how about take a bubble bath, read a book, call a friend, bleach my lip day?

Meanwhile the ENTIRE year has been made up of 5 days (if we are lucky) with one SHORT day on Wednesdays (or as I like to refer to it: OMFG is it time to get the kids already day!)
Not one month has gone by without a "teacher fugk around work day", coffee and donut while pretending to listen in service day, conferences followed by a 4 day weekend, comp days, national holidays) I swear, I am homeschooling and I don't even know it. Just shows to go you that I am just as dumb as my kids.

**mom, no I don't think my kids are really dumb. Well, except for that comment about the Indian movie, I might get him tested. just sayin'.


  1. I hate those school-non-school days. We have the teddy bear picnic tomorrow-the K classes bring their bears, or in the case of HB2 a stuffed dog,get on a bus to a park,get sugared up at the park, then come home for a fun afternoon of sugar crashing. I might be more mad if there weren't 33 kids in the class and by this time of the year the teacher, bless her heart, is either certifiable or wanting to go on the alcohol binge of a lifetime.
    Just sayin'.

  2. You're funny! Love the note to your mom at the end. I'd have to do the same thing or she'd leave me a smarta*s comment about it!

    Welcome to AllMediocre!

  3. Hilarious post - found you via all.mediocre!

    Just wondering, do moms still freeze the soda (wrapped in aluminum foil) so it stays cold when the kiddies go on field trips. That is such a memory to me - it never worked and ended with soda-soaked sandwiches 8 times out of ten in our household. Sorry to say my mom didn't have the chops for these kinda science experiments.

  4. OK, did you write this one just to get me out of my non-commenting state? :-)

    The teachers love this crap as much as the parents do... well, let me clarify... The teachers that CARE love this crap as much as the parents that CARE do. Teachers are a victim to this “life should be all-fun-all-the-time” mentality, too.

    Teachers are judged largely based on the test scores of their students. This is challenging enough as it is… they are dealing with a huge range of IQs, family life situations, legislation, administration, school politics, abuse, neglect, and a host of other ridiculous parent issues. As if that weren’t enough to navigate, they also have to sit back and watch as all of these non-educational activities get thrust upon them. They often get pulled out of the classroom to play babysitter for these fun activities. Despite the pittance of a pay scale, most teachers become teachers so that they can TEACH, but they are often not allowed to do so.

    Please, dear lord, don’t blame the TEACHERS for all of this. They are treated and paid like babysitters, not given the authority to do their job, and yet held accountable for the life-long success, happiness, self esteem, utter all-day entertainment and general well-roundedness of children.

    Oh, and the in service days… PUH-LEASE. They are typically useless and boring, and the teachers would much rather be, um, teaching. Or maybe re-grading the papers that got turned in late, or are re-done for a new grade because Tommy forgot his or didn’t pay attention, and the parents insist that he should actually get a FAILING grade for FAILING to do his work properly.

    Believe it or not, the push for this crap comes from the new-fangled generation of parents (and yes, there are some teachers that subscribe to this, too). Parents put pressure on administration (and vote for said administration), who then approve all of these fun not-so-learning activities. Yet, it’s these same parents that get ticked off when the teachers don’t manage to instill discipline, work-ethic, kindness, tolerance, and college-worthy intelligence into their little spoiled rotten, over-sugared, under-disciplined little darlings. You know… those values that the parents themselves don’t seem to be willing or able to instill.

    Teachers appreciate parents that are actually concerned about education and structure and such, but unfortunately, this old school flavor of parenting is no longer in vogue.

    Ah, OK… got that off my chest. :-)

  5. Headless: glad I'm not the only one.

    Meghan: Glad to know other people made the mistake of giving family their blog address.

    Amy: I don't freeze the soda..shoot is it supposed to be cold? I just pull it from the pantry, I figure it is sugar WTF now it has to be cold?

    Brandy: Welcome to comments, now go back to where you came from you teacher's daughter! ;)

  6. Yeah it's just crazy but then they'll scream about how tough everything is. Try framing a house.