It's Official, I'm a Mean Mom

This morning the kids took a vote and it was unanimous, I'm mean. Quite possibly the meanest mom that ever did walk, talk, scream, yell, curse (apparently they have heard me), or breathe.

I am guilty of the following:

1. Not allowing my 6 year old toothless wonder to get holes in her ears. EVERYONE in Kindergarten has theirs pierced. We counted and "everyone" is about 4 of them. Guess there are some other really mean, un-fashion-forward moms out there too.

2. Not allowing my 8 year old son proper possession of cell phone. WHO would he call? Surely not his mean mother. BTW smarty pants, cell phones do NOT work in the school, Lord knows I have tried to call friends to chat while there cutting useless strips of paper endless photocopying uugghh making "fancy paper" out of wet toilet paper crafty shit I suck at volunteering.

3. Making my children wear a helmet while riding bikes.

4. Not allowing them to be molested by some creepy perpetrator that is waiting to grab them, kidnap them and mess them up for life "go off by themselves".

5. Sending them to their rooms when they are bugging the crap out of me.

So there you have it, I am mean, mean, mean by all standards. I am living right up to the standards MY mom set and today when they get home I am going to give them examples of what a REALLY mean mom would do.

I love you mom, thanks for being the meanest mom I know! Happy pre-mother's day! (Remember when you made me talk on the phone in the kitchen? THAT was mean!)